Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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