i jhust puked up my retainher.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
zippers are such a cool invention
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
