Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
