singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
