I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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