dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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