evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
