Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
