somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
