we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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