we have pet lesbian snakes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
