The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
