If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
