how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
