I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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