apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
