If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
