Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
