its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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