I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She bit a glass in half.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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