I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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