...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
