6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
