i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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