i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
