I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
