He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
