He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who died my cat blue again?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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