Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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