And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dicks are not precious.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
