Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
