He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
