just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
