people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
