hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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