it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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