I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
