Buhtt sex?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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