Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
