It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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