Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
