You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
