True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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