Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
