pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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