Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
