Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
