He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
