i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
