that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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